


The Try Guys Test Roadhead

by ElasticElla



Category: Buzzfeed The Try Guys (Web Series)
Genre: Background Relationships, Blow Jobs, M/M, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-03
Updated: 2018-11-03
Packaged: 2019-08-17 04:01:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16509014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElasticElla/pseuds/ElasticElla
Summary: “If anything’s gonna smash my car, it’s gonna be this one.”Zach grins, “Oh yeah, you’re gonna get smashed in that car. K-squared, twice the beauty, twice the daddy.”Eugene winces, turning to Ned. “We have to beat them.”





	The Try Guys Test Roadhead

**Author's Note:**

> for rarebuzzships' new ship november, [come play \o/](https://rarebuzzships.tumblr.com/post/179525816269/new-ship-november-a-rarepair-creation-challenge)
> 
> not only my first time with this ship, but with the fandom so fingers crossed on that ^.^

Eugene already knew going into the latest distracted driving challenge, he had to win it. On his pride dammit, he can’t let a team of two mostly straight dudes beat him. He’s the only one that’s actually had a dick in his mouth before, to lose is unacceptable. 

They’re filming most of the intro and side bits later, something he’s reluctantly grateful about. It’s not that he’s nervous, he’s just _ready_. Not like he’s been waiting for this- because he hasn’t, he’s fucked plenty of soccer dads- Ned isn’t anything new. They’ve already made out and seen each other naked, and reluctantly hugged and cuddled. This won’t even make top ten terribly intimate moments, so there’s no reason to be anything but chill. 

“So the rules-” Zach starts off. 

“Because science, barely science,” Ned interrupts, laughing through his words. 

Eugene rolls his eyes, isn’t willing to lose a half hour to this nonsense. “The passenger must have their mouth on dick while the vehicle moves, the driver must come at least once-”

“Not to be orgasm-centric,” Keith says right as Zach asks, “Are there bonus points for coming multiple times? We should do bonus points.” 

“This is about driving not coming,” Ned corrects Zach in a primary school teacher tone that should not be doing it for him. (It’s only because Ned’s gonna be sucking him off soon. Yeah.)

“So it’s the same as other challenges, we’re going for time close to the sober control drive while avoiding cones and other distractions.” Keith says, yawning huge at the end. 

Zach perks up, “We’re gonna win so hard. Look at that mouth, you could fist that.” 

Eugene groans, and Keith grins huge, “I fit an entire soda can in my mouth once.” 

“Ow,” Eugene mutters instinctively, touching his own jaw, and Ned’s eyebrows pop up, “How- nope don’t answer that.” 

Zach’s head cocks to the side, “Was it empty or full? Cold?” 

Eugene turns to a nearby camera, “Anyways, the driving order is Ned first, then Keith, then me, and finally Zach.” 

“No power bottom order?” Ned asks. 

“I’m not saying-” Eugene starts, and Zach talks over him, “Ned you can be my power bottom any time.” 

Eugene sighs, “This was a terrible idea.” 

“Distracted driving! Roadhead!” Keith shouts, doing finger guns. 

“I regret everything.” 

.

Eugene starts by stretching his arms out and putting the passenger seat all the way back. Ned gives him a weird look, and he says, “For maximum space. It’s cramped up here.” 

“Ohh, yeah cool.” 

“You haven’t mentioned Ariel yet,” Eugene says, and that’s not quite true. Him and Keith did a little bit about their wives giving them permission for this video, but that’s not what he means. 

Ned nods, “Yeah. It’s weird not having her here.”

Eugene tries not to smirk, “In the backseat?” 

Ned blushes- honest to god blushes, “Nah, we’ve never uh, done this kinda thing.” 

“Huh.” 

“What?” 

“Nothing.” 

“What is it?” Ned presses. 

Eugene shrugs, “I always thought roadhead was like a dumb white people thing.” 

Ned winks at the camera, “Not this white person!” 

“…until now,” Eugene adds, lips twitching. 

“Whatever. We go down together- oh!” 

“No. Absolutely not, that will definitely crash Keith’s car.” 

“Are you guys starting or what!” Keith yells over a megaphone, and Eugene facepalms. 

“Who the hell let him near that again?” 

“I won’t shut up until I see some sucky-sucky!” Keith adds.

Eugene winces, “Boner kill.” 

Ned wriggles his eyebrows, “Speak for yourself.”

Eugene waits a beat, silent, and Ned sighs, “Yeah, no good luck.” 

“Ready?” 

Ned nods, “Yeah. I mean I’m always happy to get a blowjob-” 

Eugene closes his eyes momentarily, “Just start the car Ned.” 

“Oh! Oh, hah, right yeah,” he says, turning the key. 

“Tell me when you’re reaching the finish line, okay?” 

Ned’s eyebrows come together, “Like jizz or-” 

“No, the literal finish line of the driving course.”

“Oh-kay. Why do-”

Eugene reaches across the car, rearranging himself as he undoes Ned’s jeans. 

“No boxers?” Eugene asks, surprised, stroking his dick. 

“Uh- thought they’d get in the way.” 

“Mhmm, drive,” Eugene says, leaning over a little more and licking up his cock. Like most blowjobs he’s given, he has a game plan. More strategic this one, but it’ll work all the same. He’ll do basic stuff to fulfill the challenge requirements without making Ned come or get too distracted, and then at the very end he’ll get him off fast and they’ll win. 

It’s a great plan. 

It’s a great plan that he possibly should have told Ned about. Because they’ve been driving for a few minutes when Ned decides to sink his fingers into his hair, and Eugene moans around his cock, swallowing down all of it. 

“Fuck! Oh _fuck_ that’s so good,” Ned says, hips trying and failing to thrust deeper. “Your mouth, fuck your mouth is unreal.” There’s a small bump, they definitely hit something, but Ned keeps driving, fingers pressing against his head. 

Eugene licks around the base, plan forgotten. Ned has an objectively nice dick, it’s exactly what he would have expected. (Sure he’s seen it soft a bunch of times, but that only counts so much.) He’s a decent mouthful without being too much to handle, not too much pressing into his throat. 

Ned twists to backup, and Eugene pauses, eyes flicking upwards. He’s still until Ned finishes, swallowing around him after. 

“Fuck Eugene,” Ned moans, and they’re probably close enough to the end, he doesn’t care to stop himself, bobbing his head up and down. 

“I’m gonna-” he starts, coming before he can say it, Eugene smirking around him. 

Ned’s completely blissed out, does a terrible job of parking while Eugene cleans up his dick. It isn’t until they’re getting out, passing the car to the other two that Eugene realizes he’s hard. Huh. While he does enjoy giving head it’s not usually- 

“I can’t believe I ran over the dog. I didn’t even _care_.” 

Eugene nods, and they sit down on the air mattress- dressed up today with a fake fur throw and a few pillows. “Yeah, with all the other substances there was regret if you hit the dog.” 

“How am I gonna face Bean after this?” 

Eugene snorts, “As long as you don’t engage in sex while driving, which seems more than likely, you’ll be fine.” 

Ned shakes his head, “I dunno. Poor Bean.” 

Eugene looks over at the small screen showing the car camera, and Zach is currently crouching in the passenger foot area and awkwardly leaning into Keith’s crotch. They missed him taking his dick out, and it looks comically huge next to Zach’s face. 

“How the hell is this supposed to fit in my mouth? I can’t fit a shot glass and you think _that’s_ gonna fit?”

Keith grins, “Start small?” 

Zach huffs, “And my knees are already sore.” 

“This could take a while,” Eugene says, leaning back on the mattress. 

Ned cuddles up next to him, “Oh baby, that was so nice-” 

“Shut up.” 

He can feel Ned grinning against his shoulder, but he falls silent all the same and Eugene closes his eyes for a little nap. (Zach ends up failing pretty hard, is still trying to get Keith off after they’re parked again and Eugene ends up getting a lovely half hour nap.)

“Oh fuck you guys, sleeping over here. We didn’t take that long!” Zach exclaims upon seeing them. 

Eugene yawns and stretches, and Keith clasps Zach’s shoulder, “It’s okay, second round come back. Hey! I didn’t hit any cones. That’s good!” 

Eugene smiles, and refrains from making a guess as to why that is. “Alright, neugene take two. Neugene? Neutrogena?” 

“Is that a semen on face joke?” Zach asks, as Ned says, “Nedgene!” 

Eugene shakes his head, getting into the driver’s seat. Ned follows, not wasting any time before he undoes his pants and puts his mouth on him. He bites back a comment about eagerness, this is Ned’s first time sucking dick- he can be nice. 

Eugene takes a slow breath and starts the car, refuses to look down. He’s not gonna be caught in that trap, his dick is just a little warm and wet and nice feeling. No need to think about that. 

He’s driving a little slower than usual, but he isn’t hitting any cones and he’s feeling pretty good about this. So good that when he reaches the stop sign, he glances down, and Ned’s bright green eyes are looking up at him. He’s suddenly on the edge of coming, pleasure building in his gut. 

“Dammit,” Eugene mutters, looking up at the road for a sec to see an impromptu duckling crossing. “I’m gonna fuck your mouth okay?” 

Ned’s eyes go wide, but he nods. There’s around two inches to safely thrust without hitting anything on the car, and Eugene makes the most of it, trying to get off as quick as possible. With a low groan he does, and there’s a clown honk indicating they’ve been here too long. 

Petting Ned’s head once, Eugene hits the gas and finishes the course. It goes well for the most part, Ned’s mouth just idly keeping his cock warm. It’s nice and not distracting, but then when he’s driving through the cardboard box walls, Ned decides to start sucking again. 

His dick can’t rebound that quick, the sharp pleasure making him want to shut his eyes and get fucked into a mattress. “Quit it,” Eugene says, glancing down after passing the boxes. 

Ned fucking pouts, the bastard, and how the hell is Eugene supposed to parallel park like this? 

(He hits two cones, the only cones on the whole damn course he hits, and it’s all Ned’s fault.)

Overall, Eugene’s clearly done the best so far, is pleased as he tucks himself away and they head back over to the air mattress. 

He has to ask though, curious as they sit down, “Why did you try and distract me at the end?” 

Ned shrugs, cheeks rosy, “It was uh- it was kinda fun. Suckin’ dick.” 

Eugene stares at him for a moment before laughing, “Yeah alright. You’re welcome to distract me any time.” 

Ned doesn’t laugh though, picking at his jeans. “Ariel, uh, fuck, Ariel said you can come home with me tonight if you want. Like we could all, I dunno. If you wanna.” 

Eugene raises a single eyebrow, “That is the least eloquent proposition I have ever received.” 

Ned scratches his neck, “Or not, we can not-”

“You’re so lucky your wife is hot.” 

“Yeah I am.” 

There’s a comfortable silence, broken by Zach’s voice coming from the screen. “As I am the only try guy who’s received roadhead before this test, this will be cake. A slice of delicious winning cake.” 

Zach doesn’t mention he was fifteen at the time and didn’t know how to drive in a Walmart parking lot, but Eugene isn’t telling the internet that. 

Needless to say, Zach comes in dead last, hitting over half of the cones and blowing every stop. He is the only try guy that comes more than once on the course though- half a dozen times in fact- and Keith takes all the credit, grinning huge.

**Author's Note:**

> now with a [keith/zach companion fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16554302) \o/


End file.
